Tuesday, October 31, 2006
3.30ampardon the obviously titled posts but all creativity has been sapped.
i'm left with watery, overworked eyes and an aching body, possibly a result of sitting in the chair for too long. but i won't say the assignment's done till i've submitted it. it still needs some tweaking which i shall leave till the morning.
i'm amazed though, at how i've been persistently keeping those late nights and wake up mid-morning, and throughout the day i don't feel spent...but it could probably be because i know this assignment's a do-or-die thing and i want to make the best out of it.
a mess of papers, stacks of books, fashion magazines and empty mugs clutter my table. and a single sheet of paper which i've scribbled on during my sudden bouts of inspiration.
can you believe it's already november? i know, i know. i should know.
rachel at 11:39 AM
Monday, October 30, 2006
2amredesigning the nanyang chronicle.
nanyang, chronicled.
the chronicles of nanyang.
a chronic headache.
undone: cover and second page, and touchups for everything.
just now, a heartstopping moment. when i turned on my laptop and went away for awhile, i came back to find the blue screen of death. the words FATAL ERROR stood out in that string of words and numbers. omg. but thankfully, everything's working fine now. i also discovered that in the course of the week, i deleted my precious folder of gorgeous/exquisite food pictures. at least there wasn't too much in there. sigh.
and erm, the stress-induced online shopping count for the week stands at 2 pairs of earrings, a ring and am deliberating over one more pair of the cutest ickle earrings...
rachel at 10:10 AM
Sunday, October 29, 2006
a long night's journey into dayit's almost 3am now and i stayed up trying to do as much as i can and send the work-in-progress to my teacher for opinions. imho my masthead is seriously ugly...i like the main pic and entry points but the masthead just ruins it all. i can't think right now so i'll worry about it later. it takes me so long to just lay out one fricking page cuz i keep on experimenting to see if it can look better.
7 pages done so far. 5 more to go...tons more labouring, especially over the nitty gritty details. it looks fine when you're using indesign, but then when you export to the adobe reader and zoom in...you notice all the inconsistencies and things that should never see the light of day.
this means that i'm probably going to wake up mid-morning which sucks because i have so much to do tomorrow. ayeeee...this is a nightmare.
rachel at 11:06 AM
Saturday, October 28, 2006
losing my marblesi am one stressed mess.
i've been at home for the whole day and i'm nowhere near halfway through my newspaper design and layout. ARGH. it's so frustrating. i've got the concept in my head but the execution is difficult, and it's not because i'm inept with indesign (i've got a decent mastery of it already). translating thought into something concrete isn't that easy. the fonts, the colour, the layout of the pages, the masthead, it's all giving me a hard time.
SIGH. right now it doesn't look like how i want it to be. or even how it's supposed to be. i don't even have a front page yet. there's still tomorrow to work this out. loose ends must be tied up before tuesday if not i'll be going nutso.
increased stress levels induces food cravings. this time, for chocolate. chowing down a bar of cadbury, and downing it with tea knowingly awhile before afternoon run does nothing for my discipline. so the only kinda workout i've been getting - finger exercises.
rachel at 10:14 AM
Friday, October 27, 2006
sunshine.i don't usually take notice but it's a lovely beeyootiful saturday morning today.
clear, relatively haze free skies, sunny weather, and best of all i've got nothing on. i guess over the past year my saturday mornings have been filled up with tuition and rehearsals such that i'm rushing from one place to another and only getting some breather in the late afternoon.
so for once it's nice to just wake up mid morning, stretch, read the papers and go run some errands. my mom made me bird's nest soup for brekkie again, which i had with milo and now tea...an odd combination i know but we're having lunch early.
almost done with the orders for my charm necklaces...i've sold all but one design! time to make more, and then hunt for one side of my brand new but missing earring :( but of course the 226 project supercedes all that. bucketloads of inspiration come my way please.
rachel at 9:20 PM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
random stranger.you know how it is, when you're in a crowded place like say, a club. and you're stuck in a sea of sweaty dancing bodies, with everyone losing their inhibitions in the course of the music, or on the fringes with the other people watchers (eyeing the eye candy) casually sipping your drink of choice.
you're looking around, searching for that face and those eyes. you'd know it anywhere. it's the only thing that matters then, for your gaze to connect with his. but it's dark inside, and the club's huge. you spoke, briefly, but that's not enough. he remembers your name, you didn't catch his. you had a fleeting glimpse of him before he turned the corner and got lost in the crowd. (as an afterthought, that's how things are always gonna be with him)
but of course you bump into him again. he keys his number into your phone, you wake up the next morning to his text, and a flurry of messages ensue. surreal, so it seems, though not quite. naturally, alcohol-addled brains regain their consciousness, and from then on everything goes into the gutter. jerk, you say. but you were naive too.
and then you're back at your stomping ground the next week, kinda jaded but so much the wiser.
rachel at 9:59 AM
party pooped outthe fun bit
mos on wednesday night with fly was awesome. i am sufficiently partied out. i still do think that it's better to club with girls than with a guy...cuz guys don't really dance plus you can't really check out the other eye candy...hmmm. and the music - mel you should have been there, i think you'd have loved it (and the free candy floss) as much as i did! danced till my legs turned wobbly - in part due to tiredness & mostly due to alcohol. hehehe.
before reality hit...
running on 4 hours of sleep. fly rushes me to school and i make it for lecture, stoned. there's a quiz though, as i'd expected, but for the life of me i can't list down the four models of public relations even though i was there last week with the notes.
i know one theory starts with the letter A...and the other an S, which wasn't very helpful. argh :(
this was followed by a pounding headache and i could barely keep awake so i came home and crashed.
rachel at 8:51 AM
screwedi realized i committed a heinous mistake for the newswriting assignment that i submitted yesterday and oh my gooms i can just see that 30% of my final grade slowly withering away.
i got a person's name wrong, and to top things off, an article on a similar topic appeared in the papers today...and i highly doubt my hawk-eyed teacher would miss that article because i interviewed 2 of the same people (the person whose name i got wrong was quoted too) . and, well, it was a pain to read because it was a well-written trend story, with mine paling in comparison. better angle, better quotes.
to think that i'd checked it through so many times and i could actually have such a terrible error.
sigh. i think i'll settle for a bath now, to wash out remnants of last night - that gunk of hair spray and the faint smudges of eyeliner and the lethargy that's buggering me. then maybe things'll be incrementally better.
rachel at 2:41 AM
Monday, October 23, 2006
lazing.hurray for public holidays! it gives me some breathing space and more time to get my work done.
i've been sitting in bed for quite a long time though...but haven't exactly started doing my assignments yet.
i'd one of those sluggish monday mornings. but love to my mom, for brewing bird's nest soup for my brekkie. and followed by a cup of really sweet tea.
then everything else went progressively well. i'm just glad to be back in the warmth that is home and away from the cold and rain of the world outside.
rachel at 7:31 AM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
nutso nighteyestrain from staring too much at the computer and watching epl at the same time.
the newswriting assignment is sort of finished...i just need to test it on people to see if they understand, especially my nut graf. and run through it many more times to see how i can turn it into a "cleaner" copy. sigh. 550 words = 30% of final grade = majorly stressing.
mom made prawn bisque and steak for dinner, and i had those with cedele's pesto ciabatta so i'm very contented at the moment. if only i could eat like that everyday:)
rachel at 10:22 AM
on autopilot modei'd a wheezing fit last night, so i didn't get enough sleep.
went to church & had brunch at ghim moh, which never fails to put me in a good mood. appam, doujiang & teh si, my usual.
came home and napped, but now i am stuck with no inspiration for the newswriting assignment. i gathered quite a bit of useful information from my interviews, but i can't seem to express myself in a coherent manner. have got some structure going but the words just won't come out.
(even though the story is about my fave activity, shopping)
frustrating:(
rachel at 2:35 AM
Saturday, October 21, 2006
diwali delighthappiness comes in varying degrees and is manifested in different ways. there's the inexplicable bout of happiness, that rush of ecstasy, and sometimes there's the mellow kinda happiness of the hearwarming sort that comes from familiarity.
the thought that i'm leaving soon has made me appreciative of the people around me and also, it's the people in my life that make me reluctant to leave.
today my heart was quietly happy. waking up to a lovely saturday morning, bantering with my parents, going shopping with fly, coming home to a spread of a dinner (mom made curry fish head), actually focusing on my homework. it's so rare that i feel completely at ease.
shopping was rather unproductive because i stopped myself from making impulse buys. wanted dog tags from agnes b but fly was vehemently against them. (or maybe all ns guys are cuz they've got to wear them) i got a bottle of Borba skin balance water to try though, to see if it's worth the hype.
we'd tong shui at ji de chi ... me being crazy about any kind of dessert ordered two bowls, walnut paste (i order that all the time even when i'm overseas) and tang yuan in ginger soup. and that's fly with his usual mango dessert which was so good it cheered him up (most of the time he's a grumpus).
thinking happy thoughts.
rachel at 6:30 AM
Friday, October 20, 2006
blechof late, i seem to be adept at annoying the hell out of people around me. it's my clumsiness, my ignorance, my nonchalance, and every other persnickety detail there is to be picked on.
woke up feeling sick today, so i didn't get much accomplished :(
there's a lot to contend with right now. i'm supposed to be eager and excited about things but at the moment i can't.
rachel at 10:04 AM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
the new favourite show.rachel wants a "fish" named wentworth. if you watch prison break, you'll know what i'm talking about. i love his intense eyes, well-built body and moody broodiness. utter gorgeousity with brains to boot (he went to princeton). is the dude for real?!
basically, the whole bad boy look appeals to me, period.
but of course, it'd be even better if the guy had a great personality.
now, back to reality. work, yes. and without distractions too. no plans yet to go out/meet up with anyone for the next 3 days and that thought is so foreign to me...but perhaps it'd be the right time to really buckle down and finish everything so i don't have to go nutso when deadlines loom.
must clear thoughts of cosmopolitans, strobe lights, bad boys and retail therapy out of my head for now. oy vey.
rachel at 8:17 AM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
it can be done.today i discovered that it was possible to wake up late and brush my teeth/wash my face/get dressed in 7 minutes. plus another 3 minutes to eat my brekkie. then scoot off and reach school 5 minutes early. that's amazing!
okay. for some people i suppose they'd have no problems but i am a complete slowpoke in the morns especially when i have to wake up early. if i got this adrenaline rush everyday, which i highly doubt, i wouldn't mind waking up 20 minutes late.
hokay. i really really need to mug right now. arghh.
rachel at 9:37 AM
Monday, October 16, 2006
oh my goomsyeah, i only just started to really feel the weight of what there is to be done. i just spent the past 2.5 hours doing a critique for a project, there's still a health science midterm on thursday to be studied for and if a pop quiz occurs this week for 201 i am so screwed cuz the readings are sitting pretty in my file in their pristine glory. then there is the trend story which is in a class of its own in terms of importance.
so instead of channelling my newfound energy into work i am aimlessly restlessly drifting around feeling ridiculously happy at nothing and with no one in particular, with trivial thoughts filling my head(like, if new favourite jacket goes with jeans). geez.
rachel at 9:04 AM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
poolsidei woke up this morning and immediately thought, nahh i really dont wanna go to school this afternoon. so i got up and emailed my lecturer to let her know i wouldn't be coming for tutorial.
and then post brekkie i went downstairs for a swim cuz it was too hazy to run. i can't believe i used to swim 30-40 laps during each training sesh when i was younger. i felt like a walrus in the water today and it didn't help that my goggles were faulty. managed a respectable distance nonetheless. seems like i got alotta pent up energy these days yeah.
bro's making pasta for lunch! and i'm addicted to apple juice and the puteri mas durian puffs. thanks gabe for the late night pep talk yesterday...i'm feeling more sober now.
rachel at 9:52 PM
pink leather wallet from ASOS
major lol.
rachel at 3:03 AM
Saturday, October 14, 2006
wunderbarmel and i went for the tertiary fling @ mos on thursday night. we loved 54 muchos...didn't go there the last time. main floor was jam packed with sweaty bodies and it's kinda hard to move so we migrated upstairs after awhile. bananarama and abba are now stuck in my head and in my mp3 playlist.
went to dbl o for awhile to get some shots. nothing much there. anyway t'was a fruitful night at mos yeah. had fun, had good music, got to dance. hmm hmm. oh and some dude spat on my foot. like i think he was aiming for the floor and i got in the way and intercepted the spit. oh lordyyy it was grossifying mortifying and the worst thing ever. oy vey.
anyway what would it be without them photos - taken in the mos ladies' no less.
presenting...
paris hilton (mel) and the rabbit (moi)
i think mel looks like amelie in the 3rd pic!! all she lacks is a spoon to whack the creme brulee;)
zat ees all. tschuse!
rachel at 3:28 AM
Friday, October 13, 2006
demystifying the codethis is inspired by mel who smsed me after my phone call and said that her mom was discreetly listening in on our convo. i suggested that we develop a code following which she replied with one.
then it struck me that i'd been doing this since i was in primary 6 and has continued 8 years on, for different reasons. back then i didn't have much privacy until i got my own phone line in my room for awhile. now, well, sometimes it's just inconvenient. anyway, back to primary 6, this was the rule of thumb with my best friend:
boys shall be referred to as girls. "he" will become "she". they shall be given female names. to signal to your friend that you are talking about a boy, you must emphasise the "she" so your friend will know you are not talking about a real girl. their female names shall start with the same letter of their male name, and you must also emphasise the first letter of the female name so your friend will know which guy you are referring to.
then i met mel in jc and this tradition continued. we managed to develop an elaborate system for naming and talking about guys without revealing their identities and letting others know we were talking about them.
now, we've got the "he/"she" thing going again. and, clubs shall be referred to as libraries. so it shall go like this, or something to this extent: yesterday there were a whole bunch of girls (boys) at the library(club) chionging (clubbing) for their exams (irrelevant).
oh yeah and of course, the code shall not be privy to others who are not a part of the inner circle. basically, this is like playing taboo, and it makes me laugh damn hard when i think about it.
rachel at 7:54 AM
on a happiness highthis is post worthy, for sure.
after like, a month and a half, i laced up my nikes and went out for a run today. managed 3km for a start, decent timing too.
with the play, the haze, 2 broken down treadmills in the condo gym, sheer laziness & twisting my foot a week ago, i just didn't bother to exercise. unless you count dancing in clubs.
so today was glorious in that for the first time in yonkers i didn't have anything on at all on a friday, my off day from school. woke up really late, did my stretching, played some louuud music, had brekkie and went shopping.
was supposed to check out winter clothes but after awhile they all look the same and they're all fricking cumbersome. i like the ones in tan, cream & brown. i haven't managed to find any boots but the ones that mk are wearing here are gorgeous.
rachel at 3:33 AM
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
on beckettreading waiting for godot for english now. you can either think its crap or its really brilliant. i think it's a bit of both but mostly it's brilliance. i love beckett's ideas. for example, he once said...
love is a reciprocal torture
people get together and create bonds that they're always chafing against. as seen through the characters pozzo and his slave lucky. which i think is quite true, most of the time, it's hard for relationships to be truly equal, and there's often always some form of mutual interdependence.
and how, to be is to be perceived. failing which we can't really exist, and maybe that's why the main characters vladimir & estragon cling to each other like they do, because of their need to be perceived.
almost everything in the play reflects the dynamics of typical human relationships. there's the predominant metaphor of waiting, the idea of free will or predetermined fate, the theory of existentialism, about the philosophy of relationships...and everything that upsets our expectations.
rachel at 7:29 AM
trundling alongeverything's picking up speed, so this is where i get my act together.
handed up 2 assignments today, not much breathing space for long. all assignments for the rest of the semester have been doled out, the very thought of it makes me want to hyperventilate.
an increase in the amount of stress i face, as prior experience has shown, results in an increase in the cravings for junk food (and consumption thereafter), and an increase in the amount of online shopping done (4 earrings in a week, a record).
feeling guilty during the downtime, i.e. now, so i shall go off soon to print notes, start doing readings, start sketching, start wondering...there's always so much to think about, my mind has a tendency to go into overdrive, such that it takes me ages to fall asleep.
rachel at 7:16 AM
Sunday, October 08, 2006
stuffedwell fed today. made orange & carrot juice with honey in the afternoon, mom made pumpkin soup and steak for dinner, and brewed bird's nest soup for dessert. *pats tummy*
the air was relatively fresh and clean for once, and t'was a lovely sunday afternoon...i suppose the indonesian farmers do have their off days too. only horrible thing that happened was schumi's engine failure in the japan grand prix, his title hopes literally going up in smoke. :(
rachel at 8:38 AM
Saturday, October 07, 2006
hazy mazy saturdayswhat a crazy night it's been.
glad i went out despite all the work and alarming psi level. tomorrow i'm definitely staying home to finish everything.
just got back from sentosa/clarke quay with genevieve. we went to the cool deck at siloso beach cuz they were having some jazz thing...not bad, quite chill but not really our crowd. then we tried to venture to km8, but it's best to go there by car cuz it's quite a walk in, plus the haze affects your visibility, the road stretches on ahead and no one else is walking in, it's dark, there's lotsa trees...our minds start working overtime, we freak out and start running all the way back to the bus stop cuz genny decides it looks way too scary.
clarke quay was lovely though. attica was having the carnival party...loved the atmosphere outside, didn't love the long queue much. music was awesome. we kinda hung around outside and there was so much eye candy, plus people were dressed up in cool carnival-ish outfits. felt rather out of place in our short skirts & birks. then finally, some cute angmoh makes a pass at me as he is walking by but i am too stunned to react and stare at him blankly. blahhh.
oh and mel, frenchie has a french girlfriend. hmm...moving on!!
this afternoon i stopped by orchard to pick up a music book and do some shopping, but spent most of my time at the isetan supermarket and m&s loading up on groceries. i love grocery shopping the best out of all other forms of shopping (believe it or not) cuz i love walking up and down the aisles checking out the amazing varieties of stuff they've got, things that i've read about but never seen before and the more exotic stuff that can't be found in your neighbourhood supermarket. so yeah, it's a place where i get all excited and happy, and epiphanies too, lol, and end up spending more than i intend to.
my muscles are feeling dumpy. it's time they got stretched...i haven't ran, or done any form of exercise, in ages...but what with the haze now, anything outdoors is like a no go. it's a terrible thought that we're breathing in all these dust/soot/smoke particles that have toxic elements which are probably festering in our lungs right now and exposure to them over a contracted period of time will lead to respiratory tract infections and darth vader-ish voices, or something to that effect.
okay...now i can go back to doing my work feeling more contented :)
rachel at 10:00 AM
Friday, October 06, 2006
mopeyhome again on a friday night. day-out-in-town plan shelved, because i'd to go back to school on a day where i'd no classes to sort out my i-20 application mess.
stress induces online shopping and increases the appetite for junk food.
project, essay and readings to look forward to over the weekend.
rachel at 9:58 AM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
virtuei am learning patience thru a li'l 5-year-old girl i'm teaching piano to. she's really bright and cute as a button, i absolutely love teaching her and i'm glad she's having fun too. it's very heartwarming when she learns something new, slowly but surely. i never thought i'd enjoy teaching music this much, but perhaps its too early to say since i just started last month. she's the daughter of expats, and it's amusing when she suddenly cuts me off halfway to to ask me if i mean "guy" instead of "man", and am i referring to her "pinkie" when i say "baby finger". :)
better than teaching english to dour-faced teenagers if you ask me.
and then, i was at the buona vista taxi stand earlier this evening, but it was frustrating even though the queue was short. a bunch of totally rude inconsiderate dumbass drivers were parked right in front clogging up the whole place (which part of "for taxis only" do they not understand!) blocking off the taxis. and get this, they DIDN'T move even though they knew they were in the way. granted, it was peak period and its hard to move but they shouldn't be there in the first place. so it turned out that i'd to walk further back to get to my cab. despite honking from the cab driver he proceeded to move his sorry ass only slightly forward much to dirty stares from everyone else.
oh lord, really, these people are dunzo, and their selfishness is smacks-palm-to-forehead inducing. ahh, whatever happened to the innocence of childhood.
rachel at 8:14 AM
booafter ytd's headache, the bodily distress du jour is mother painful cramps, courtesy of arsenal playing on home ground. grrr i knew it was coming when i got them chocolate cravings.
its wednesday night, sexy back is playing on the radio, and i can only do my li'l dance while sitting in my chair daydreaming of being at the clubs.
rachel at 6:57 AM
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
all those thingsthere is a difference between loving someone and being absolutely in love with him.
sometimes nuggets of truth do fall out of reality television shows after all, the kind that mtv have too much of and a couple of which are my guilty pleasures. plus i also spent a glorious hour watching entourage and wrongfully feeling like it's termbreak.
there was a test today, and another assignment given out, so 2 weeks from now i have 2 presentations to make and a trend story due. very dreadful really, the thought that mid-november (when exams begin) is so near yet there're so many things being heaped onto our plates now, making it so far away. then again i know that in spite of all that wondering how i'm gonna get through it all somehow i will do so just like the previous 2 semesters.
but for now, having a pounding headache with too many things running through my head.
rachel at 7:18 AM
Monday, October 02, 2006
clockworkshow i loathe it when reality bites. and how i long to move along, not bothered, flustered or conscious of time and its passing.
yet, in a month of various assignment and project deadlines one can't help but be painfully aware of time, how everything really does count and the minutes, hours and days do trickle by faster than one thinks.
plus, i need to stop skipping certain classes so that i can have more time for other things. i may end up with severe gaps in knowledge that need to be filled...but first i am probably gonna find out if my subsequent attendance will be worthwhile or it's something i can do on my own (as is the case for some modules) by diligently reading the textbook and readings.
i suppose i need more discipline, really. tonight's tv offerings were irresistable...had to pull myself away from the sisterhood of the travelling pants regretfully, but proceeded to get distracted by a myriad of other things. i am trying to get started on my work, and little evils come in the form of MSN Messenger (i should never have signed in!), a brother who occasionally bursts into my room with math paper demanding immediate and undivided attention, a phone call, a seemingly simple question on a form i ask my parents but it takes 1/4 hour to get an answer, and then my craving for gelato which thankfully there still is in the freezer.
so far i've written ONE freaking paragraph of a 1,500 word essay. fabulous!!!!!!!! and i need to wake up at 7, so knowing my struggles with ungodly morning hours i shall sleep soon. guiltily so.
rachel at 8:56 AM
Sunday, October 01, 2006
goodbye termbreak heartachei'm not looking forward to going back to school at all. this month is where all the project deadlines are and where more assignments will be doled out! but compared to the first year, it's comparatively lesser. even so, we stress over every single one anyway.
missed church today and i'm feeling horrible about it :( woke up at 11am to an empty house and pancakes with strawberry puree but the latter only managed to cheer me up temporarily.
i was in my reclusive mood again so i actually read alot which i'm quite pleased about because i like reading and unfortunately on most days the only things that i spend a significant amount of time reading would be those pertaining to my modules.
i really need to start getting a decent amount of sleep and at regular hours too, and work on being more productive in the day rather than being so nocturnal. though sometimes i can't help it. i just need to squeeze in this extra bit of work and then i'll bugger off to bed...
rachel at 9:53 AM