Wednesday, February 28, 2007
nooo.mmm. wish i don't have to go back to school in half an hour. it's cold outside and i'm seeking refuge in my warm cosy room. sipping hot chocolate and burying my feet under the blanket. it's having a soporific effect on me :/
rachel at 11:36 AM
Saturday, February 24, 2007
venom.of dirty dancing, my favourite hip-hop, and doing shots (tequila and b52s).
friday night was spent partying away at venom, a club near downtown.
and yes, i got high after awhile and couldn't remember how much i'd drunk, but i was aware of my surroundings although the wooziness was threatening to take over.
plus you can't blame me for being nauseous what with 8 people being squashed in a merc and me having to sit in the front passenger seat on someone's lap, bent over the whole ride.
fresh air and someone to prop me up and hold my hand did me a world of good.
in retrospect, clubbing here is so much better than in singapore. yes, i know i am underage but don't ask me how i got in;)
first of all, the guys here pick up girls like it's nobody's business. in singapore the guys are just too wallflowerish for my liking. plus some are not bad in terms of looks though they're most probably players.
the shot glasses here are twice the size of those in singapore, but amazingly i can down everything at one go, and the effects don't set in immediately unlike back home.
and what's a night of partying without scandal and drama...alcohol makes the world go round, after all. but i also like to think that what happens in the club stays in the club.
rachel at 2:12 PM
Thursday, February 22, 2007
winter blooms.
i missed my first class which i really wanted to go for but i was stuck in a dream and promptly fell asleep again after semi-consciously turning off the alarm. so here i am feeling guilty now that i'm lounging around eating a huge bowl of cereal and blogging away.
rachel at 11:02 AM
Saturday, February 17, 2007
VCR BCmuch love to everyone back home, and have a blessed chinese new year with your families. i miss mine lots.
leaving for vancouver in 6 hours to spend the president's day weekend & chinese new year. as usual i'm taking my own sweet time to get to bed but at least i'm more or less packed.
will be back monday night. xoxo.
rachel at 2:31 AM
Friday, February 16, 2007
huh.
that same cinema with the crazy billboards.
succumbing to the leggings craze. nah, actually i really do have to wear them if i wanna wear skirts out. speaking of skirts, a new one from ae just caught my eye;)
rachel at 1:12 AM
cuteness is a cupcake.
madrona, a sleepy neighbourhood near downtown, has an innocuous looking cafe which, in actual fact, sells lovely, sinful and calorific cupcakes. verite coffee houses cupcake royale, which is to seattle what magnolia bakery is to new york. after chowing down a ballerina (yes my first one had to be pink) i am thoroughly in love with this place. what i really like is that the cupcakes are free of preservatives and they taste as good as they look.
and so, because i am madly in love with them, i went down to ballard after school on tuesday to scoop up more of the gorgeousities. the lemon drop cupcake is divine and i know that i am a lemon lover but i am impartial when i say that:)
rachel at 12:52 AM
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
on love.in the spirit of valentine's day, i just gotta say this.
here in america, valentine's day is really hyped up - i mean, entire new sections in supermarkets and shops sprout out like, after christmas, seriously. so yeah, me being single rolled my eyes and dismissed this whole shebang.
but then i got thinking, and i have been thinking about it for awhile. i used to be cynical and jaded about love, and i wouldn't even consider myself to be authoritative on that subject. i guess it's because finding someone whom you can be so attuned to is really difficult, i kinda gave up. you put yourself out there, only to be brushed aside and get your feelings trampled on. how many times have we done that but ended up hurt? i'd enough of that - going through the whole cycle of liking someone, not having my feelings reciprocated, having to deal with all that emotional turmoil and then getting over the guy. after awhile one can't help but be bitter about it.
to sum it up, i think alot of us are not afraid of loving someone else, but we're afraid of not being loved back.
yet now that i've gotten away from singapore and i've been doing lotsa contemplating (in coffeehouses and on bus rides no less) i realized this about myself. that, while part of me is still wary about opening up my heart too easily, for the most part, i am filled with a sense of hope.
a hope that someday i will find someone whom i can completely feel so attuned to, talk about anything and everything with, someone whom i'd mean the world to, someone who'd put up with my quirks, randomness and silliness and not get turned off, someone who makes me a better person and whom i can love unconditionally in good times and bad...
it does sound idealistic, or trite even, but i believe in it. i am not going to go out of my way to look for it, everything happens for a reason and if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. funny how i knew that so many years ago but it took me so long to accept that fact (admittedly, it's a hard pill to swallow).
so yeah. i think i believe in love again, as rare as true love is, as annoying and commercialised valentine's day is. this is a hard entry to write without getting teary eyed and emotional, but for cathartic purposes i had to, and i'm glad i did.
rachel at 4:10 PM
je pense.one of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't speak.
hoping, more than anything, for an end to the ambiguity. preferably, a happy one.
as for now, i'll just have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster.
rachel at 12:22 AM
Friday, February 09, 2007
good morning miss america.
hello eyebags.
rachel at 11:03 AM
pensiveness.the perfect place to lose myself in a swirl of thoughts, with white chocolate mocha and a chillaxing ambience.
rachel at 10:53 AM
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
yawn.just crawled out of bed.
the smell of coffee still lingers in the empty cup. peppermint mocha was what i had this afternoon. there was a russian tea cake as well, just because it looked interesting in the display. receipts, a newly-opened box of cereal, an almost empty bottle of water. a mass of wires. an assortment of files crammed together, papers shoved in between. a hasty attempt at neatening things up.
of bleariness, love songs at sundown and not really knowing what to do next.
rachel at 6:04 PM
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
oof.
midterms, over.
after last week's blue skies and sunshine, it's all fog and rain this week.
coffee from tully's and cafe on the ave have sustained me well.
sleepy and bereft of words but yes it's good to chill again. walking around the ave after school getting coffee, buying groceries and trying on pretty clothes at aprie :)
and then, hoping, more than anything, for more.
rachel at 10:54 PM
Saturday, February 03, 2007
midterm bummer.goal: finish at least half the essay tonight.
i need to:
1. stop being delusional.
2. stop getting distracted by prison break.
3. play loud music to rev me up.
thus far:
coffee and a hot shower has got me all set.
rachel at 8:08 PM
eyes wide open.i'm already sleep deprived but i still have problems sleeping...weird. its saturday for goodness sakes and i only slept about 5ish hours. it can't be yesterday's coffee - i had it in the early evening.
point is i'm up and wide awake, had a shower, had breakfast, watched an episode of prison break and i'm attempting to start my work but my mind is aimlessly drifting again. 2000 word essay beckons. sigh.
rachel at 11:52 AM